I had originally written the preceding post “Off To The Races” describing in more detail the events of our trip. Some of those details, however, were a cause for criticism and objection by my editor. Therefore the post was “tidied-up” a bit; the result being what is currently posted. Due to the clamorous appeals of my readership, though, I am including here the original text (June forgive me…), with viewer discretion advised. It’s just fun to highlight some of the more difficult experiences from time to time–it helps me keep my sanity if I can stop and just laugh about what I experience in this role of being a dad.
So, read this with that in mind. By the end you will understand why June thought it a bit too much–I admit that maybe my description was a little too colorful. But, that’s exactly how it happened! I also want you to know that it was all worth it. The heat, the walking, the lines, the noise, the “incident”–it was all worth it, and I would gladly do it all over again.
When it was all said and done, and we were leaving Culver’s, Maggie told me that that had been the best day ever. When you get to hear stuff like that come out of your kids’ mouths every once in a while, all the “hard work” of being a parent suddenly becomes nothing more than a selfish complaint, because I would work twice as hard to hear those words from my babies.
Jeremy gave me 4 tickets to the Nascar Craftsman Truck Series race at the Kansas Speedway today. So, I loaded up the car with my 3 oldest and cruised up to the track. It was a gorgeous day for a race-low 80s, a nice breeze, clear skies. The kids were really excited.
The gates opened at 8:00 this morning, and apparently nearly everybody had already arrived by the time we got there. Sometime during the 5+ mile trek to the track from our parking spot the kids’ excitement started to wane. But then we got inside the ginormous grandstand where it was cooler and had lots more to see; the kids’ excitement began to increase again! Then we got to our seats and had to wait. We waited pretty much forever for the actual race to start. And yep, you guessed it! The kids’ excitement had begun to ebb!
But then the race started! And it was awesome! For at least 10 laps! Then the kids’ excitement began to wane. And then they started having to go to the bathroom. We had great seats-8th row. So, 4 times, I walked all the way UP to the main level with kids, then all the way back DOWN with kids. Their earplugs kept falling out, they were hungry, they were too hot, they wondered when it was going to be over.
With about 5-7 laps to go in the race, we left. I thought we might be able to make it out before the huge rush-but we had to stop at the bathroom first. The race ended just as we started walking again. And I won’t even talk about the nightmare it was getting out of that place. Unbelieveable!
Here’s the best part, though. Evan had to go to the bathroom one final time while we were trapped in a line of vehicles, with no porta-potty in sight.
So, here’s what I’m thinking: I leave my spot to go find a place for Evan to relieve himself AGAIN, or I improvise. I opted for improvisation-there was an empty water bottle on the floor. While growing up, I’ve peed many a time in an empty soda can in the back-seat of a car. No problem. Surely my son, who apparently has a bladder the size of a peanut, could do the same. It started out well, except that he was holding the bottle level. I told him to aim and hold down, so the bottle didn’t overflow right away. Between that and him freaking out because he was scared people in the car next to us were looking at him, he released the bottle. But continued to pee. In my car. In a dead-stop traffic jam.No kidding, in slow motion, a stream of urine any thoroughbred racehorse would be proud of, shot at me like a homing missile. If it hadn’t been for the magnificient restraint system of Volvo station wagons, I’m sure I could have dodged that flow of yellow-tinted obscenity. Alas, I was locked in position; an unwelcome sponge for my son’s poorly timed unpleasantness.
All that aside, though, we had an awesome time!
